“I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.” — President Bill Clinton

“When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” — President Barack Obama

Everybody knows you don’t put toes
In your nose.
Or a hose in your nose.
Or bows in your nose. …

His lips remind her of liver. But she lets him kiss her anyway, knowing people are watching. She has become “interesting” and “hot” instead of the girl nobody wanted to date. She likes this. She briefly wonders why he was so sought after, with his too-round face and bulbous chin…

Marla Rich is too cool for you.

No, she is. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

There’s her style: Red hair with short bangs, dramatic glasses, an eclectic and colorful outfit, good shoes.

And her house: Chock full of mid-century artifacts and groovy 70s swag.

And her old career: A real-life…

Note: This was written in April. Things have changed since then.

One red dot. That’s how it started. One red dot on the Johns Hopkins COVID-19 map.

The virus had arrived in Marion County. Of course we knew intellectually that one confirmed case indicated tens or possibly hundreds more infected…

The story will start like this:

“All roads lead to the Pink Palace … eventually.” We will get to that soon enough.

And it will end like this: Jack stayed quiet.

But first, there are a few things you should know about Nebraska.

Nebraska?

Nebraska. That is, after all, where…

Joanna Albertini is your Italian grandmother. Never mind that she’s in her early 30s and living in Oregon and her children are too young to have kids of their own. Her family calls her “Nana,” but they might as well be saying “nonna.”

No, seriously.

A small gathering at her…

John Anderson is possibly my greatest cheerleader. Each time I publish one of these profiles, he clicks the thumbs up (Facebook) or heart (Twitter) and then tells me how much he likes it.

I should get him some pom-poms.

No. No. John stands out enough. It’s true. Round glasses, substantial…

Jason Treadwell refuses to fit neatly in the box I have constructed for him in my brain. He defies stereotyping as such:

  • He’s a devout Christian who also calls himself a feminist;
  • He’s both pro-gun and staunchly anti-violence;
  • He scoffs at, say, alternative medicine but embraces an invisible, improbable god;

Jill Hohnstein

Lover. Friend. Feminist. Writer. Asshole.

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