Stories of my friends: Marla

Marla Rich is too cool for you.

No, she is. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

There’s her style: Red hair with short bangs, dramatic glasses, an eclectic and colorful outfit, good shoes.

And her house: Chock full of mid-century artifacts and groovy 70s swag.

And her old career: A real-life chef who gave it up for more stable employment.

And a current side gig: A sometime DJ, spinning industrial dance tunes that keep even people who don’t dance (me) on their feet long after it’s a good idea.

See? She’s too cool for you. And way too cool for me.

But it’s fine because she’s also kind, generous, an unapologetic belcher and genuine. And a bit of a sci-fi nerd. There’s a tattoo on her leg of Kyle MacLachlan as Paul Atreides, the nascent Kwisatz Haderach, in Dune, and she has read the entire Wheel of Time series.

I first met Marla in person at our ladies’ happy hour, but we had been connected via social media for a few months before that. We talked for a little bit that day and then we were friends. That’s how it seems to me, anyway. I don’t remember us becoming friends.

It’s easy, hanging out with Marla. This might be because we share the same opinion on most political issues or other controversial topics — we get angry at the same things. We both love Veronica Mars and plants. We’re happy to be childfree and love our pets.

Although, we disagree on Paulo Bacigalupi.

Whatever the reason, I always feel welcome at Marla’s house and I often leave full of her delicious cooking or with an unexpected gift. In fact, all of my Halloween decorations were originally hers.

She would even deliver a dining room table to my house, it turns out.

I occasionally poke fun at the weirdness that is the Buy Nothing group I’m a (mostly lurking) member of and will send Marla and our friend Melinda messages. This particular one said, “Hi, I need a dining room table, but no chairs, delivered to my house as soon as possible.”

She replied, “Oh, I think I have an extra table in the garage. I’ll bring it if it fits in my car.”

Yeah. That’s Marla.

So, Dune. What is it about Dune that speaks to you?

When I was a young kid, I remember it coming on the TV and watching it with my parents but not really understating what was going on and knowing that it took place in the future, but it looked like the past.

It really intrigued me because of that, and I think it was a few years before I knew what it was, so it was always this movie that was the future and the past.

My dad was a huge sci-fi fan, and family TV was Star Trek of all the varieties, so I think when I finally watched Dune as an adult I was primed to like it. My parents quoted it all the time, and so then it just became a thing that I liked because I always liked it from childhood. Of course I loved the visual aesthetics and in high school I read the book, and I already had an affinity for the storyline so when you read the books, they’re better to the nth degree.

Why the movie tattoo?

The movie was the first iteration that I knew existed and loved. I loved the movie. I didn’t know it was a “bad” movie until I was much older and already loved it.

What are the one or two things/people that have influenced or impacted your life?

Living in Iceland, when I was only 24, was a huge component of who I am today. I felt like I was an independent, comfortable-in-my skin person but I didn’t understand how much I took for granted. Like, when you live in a country where you can’t read the signs or overhear the conversations of other people every day, and you’re stuck with the thoughts you have, and you don’t talk to people, everything is so foreign to you and you don’t have confidence, so you just stay quiet. Living in Iceland taught me to live with myself and be comfortable with it. I walked myself through the process of living with myself inside my head, and it was OK. It’s a perspective that a lot of people don’t get to experience.

It’s a weird question given that we’re going through a global pandemic, but do you have plans for the future?

From the perspective of living through this, I have a lot of thoughts about how I hope things will change, and a lot of uncertainty. I have plans for the future in the sense that I am actually hopeful that things might changes, probably naively. Might as well keep my hopeful spirit until it’s crushed. This has forced me to change from, “I am going to Disneyland someday,” to “Well, I still want to go, but I’ll probably wear a mask.”

Also, I had four pretty big shows I wanted to see this year and I’m pretty sure none of them are happening.

Have you learned anything about yourself in this?

I definitely hung out at home with my husband more than I thought I did, so my weekly day-to-day hasn’t changed. I know the world has changed, but inside my house, everything feels normal. And then reconciling that with the outside is scary and stressful and bad. It requires planning and preparation and 1000 percent more effort than it used to leave the house.

Spur of the moment things don’t happen anymore.

Speaking of your husband, how do you keep your marriage so solid? From an outsider point of view, it seems really good.

I genuinely care about my husband’s success as a human being, and his well-being and his happiness, and that’s very important to me, more important than little things. I feel like we actually listen to and actually talk to each other. For me, it doesn’t feel like a lot of work, so it’s hard to quantify. I already love him for who he is and I want him to be the best version of who he is. That means you let the little things go.

How do you feel about socks?

I am pro-sock because my feet are cold all the time. I currently have socks on in my sandals because I have given up on all fashion rules.

Say something nice about yourself.

I love to cook food for other people and derive a lot of enjoyment from sharing those things with my friends.

I knew that.

Feeding and sharing of food is something that gives me a lot of joy.

And gives others a lot of joy, too, ’cause we like eating it.